Forgiving Yourself, Darling

Do you find yourself trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-blame, replaying your mistakes over and over in your mind? Maybe you're currently wrestling with regrets, beating yourself up over decisions you wish we could take back, and struggling to extend the same compassion to yourself that you so readily offer to others. If this is you right now, I am so glad that you're reading this because this week's post is just for you, darling.

Too often, we become our own harshest critics, constructing elaborate narratives of shame and disappointment that keep us trapped in a toxic mindset. But what if I told you that you deserve the same kindness, understanding, and grace that you would offer a dear friend struggling with similar challenges? Believe it because it's true. My beliefs as a Christian teach me that I should forgive others, as well as myself because after all, I am only human. A human that is especially flawed. A human that is still making mistakes. Therefore, I don't need to beat myself up about the things I've done. For what? It offers absolutely nothing positive to my life.

So I want to give you the same advice that I gave myself:

Forgive yourself, darling. Give yourself grace! Whatever you did is whatever you did, but it does not mean it is who you are as a whole. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel bad for your wrongdoings, because guilt is a healthy emotion--you need to feel the consequences of your actions so you can try to do better. That said, guilt is one thing, but shame is completely different. Guilt says, "I did something bad," which can be constructive and lead to positive change. Shame, on the other hand, suggests a much more damaging narrative: "I am something bad." This is where self-forgiveness becomes vital. Shame is destructive, paralyzing, and strips away your sense of self-worth. It transforms a singular action into an all-encompassing identity, which is never true. When you learn to separate your actions from your inherent worth, you create space for genuine growth, healing, and self-compassion. You acknowledge your mistakes without letting them define you, understanding that you are a complex, evolving individual capable of learning, changing, and becoming better!

Forgiveness is a profound healing process that directly impacts our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. When we hold onto shame and self-criticism, we're essentially carrying a heavy emotional burden that weighs us down, preventing us from moving forward and embracing our full potential. Research has even shown that chronic self-blame can lead to increased stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues like weakened immune systems and higher blood pressure. Who has time for all that?! By choosing to forgive ourselves, we're not minimizing our mistakes or pretending they didn't happen; instead, we're acknowledging our humanity, recognizing that everyone is imperfect, and understanding that growth comes from learning, not from endless self-punishment. Self-forgiveness allows us to break free from the paralyzing grip of past errors, transforming them from sources of pain into opportunities for personal development and self-compassion.

As you close this page, I want you to take a deep breath and remember: that you are worthy of forgiveness, love, and grace—especially from yourself. If you're struggling right now, know that you're not alone. Everyone you know like friends/family and every successful individual you look up to, has a collection of mistakes and moments they wish they could change. The difference is in how they chose to move forward—with kindness, understanding, and a commitment to becoming better. You may need some help with tackling self-forgiveness, and that's totally normal. If you don't already have a therapist, there are many professionals available that you can reach out to for help.

Your story isn't over, friend. This moment of reflection, this decision to be gentle with yourself, is just another beautiful chapter in your ongoing journey of self-love. Believe in your ability to grow, to change, and to become the incredible person you are meant to be.

You've got this, sis. And I believe in you.